MISPLACED ANGER!

Misplaced Anger!

This morning I ended up in a not so good mood before I left out the door. I asked someone to do something for me and they laughed on top of that they didn’t do what I asked. Initially I was upset, as I write this I am still a little upset but my anger is now in the right place. I thought about all the things I do for this particular person, sacrifices I make of my time, money, and resources and couldn’t believe they denied my request.

Admittedly I have a problem with the word NO but at the same time I don’t ask for much and when I do I truly need or want it at the time. I am highly self-sufficient and don’t mind doing things on my own. However I had to give myself a pep talk and remind myself…Just because we choose to go out of our way for others, respond to their request at the drop of a dime, make sacrifices and do things for them doesn’t mean they have to do it for us. Most of the times they are doing these same things for us, just not always when we want them done.

When I do things I truly do them out of the goodness of my heart. I never expect anything in return but mutual respect and consideration, reciprocity. So, I couldn’t be mad because the other person knew they didn’t want to do something and chose not to do it. However, there have been numerous times when I hear NO! and then think of all the times I’ve sacrificed and feel like I’ve been slighted, as if I am owed anything. No one in this world owes me or anyone else anything except for a thank you. I realized that I had misplaced anger.

I was angry with someone for exercising their right to choose and do what they want to do. It doesn’t matter what I’ve done for them in the past or vice versa. In each instance of our lives when we are faced with a decision we have the right to choose and whatever our choice we are doing what we want or what we don’t want to do. I know I am not the only one that has been angry with someone for something like this.

If you find yourself upset with your children, parent, sibling, friends, lover, or anyone for that matter because you can’t believe they did or didn’t do this or that after all that you have done for them, I am here to tell you your anger should be pointed toward the man in the mirror! Whether we are doing something to help someone out, because we want to see them smile/happy, because we feel we will get something out of it in return (never a good reason to do something by the way), or because we felt they really needed us at that time; we made a choice and did what we wanted to do. Just because a favor or request is denied or not returned, doesn’t mean they don’t love or care for us any less. It simply means at the time they were exercising their right to choose and do what they wanted.

Let’s be real, if there is something we absolutely don’t want to do, no matter if the other person cries, yells, gets upset, stops talking to us for a while, tries to manipulate or force our hand, we are not going to do it. So how can we be upset with someone else for creating boundaries and knowing their limitations? The answer is we can’t. All we can do is create our own boundaries and stick to them no matter what. Recognize if we choose to go outside of our boundaries it was only because we wanted to do it.Let’s make sure we are getting to the root of our anger and placing it where it belongs!

Be a blessing and be blessed,
Epiphany Essentials