HAS THE INDEPENDENT WOMAN KILLED "TRADITIONAL" MARRIAGE

For all intents and purposes I guess it would be wise to define traditional marriage.  In the true sense of "tradition", a traditional marriage is one where the husband works outside the home and the wife works inside the home and tends to the children.  The husband is the bread winner, bringing home the bacon and the wife is the one frying it up in a pan.  Think the Cleavers on Leave it to Beaver, The Evans family on Good Times, The Jeffersons ( well Weezy did have a maid...go ahead Weezy!!!!), The Winslows on Family Matters, even The Huxtables had what I would consider a traditional marriage.  More importantly, as well in this definition, is a home where the husband is the head, the leader, the key/final decision maker.  He takes into consideration the thoughts, feelings, and ideals of his wife but the husband has the final say, the right to put his foot down and that be that.  All done in respect, love, decency and order.

Has the independent woman killed the "traditional" marriage?  This question arises from an episode of The Real Housewives of Atlanta (RHOA), yes, reality TV!!!!!  Porsha is married to ex NFL baller Kordell.  Kordell is well off and Porsha is a stay at home wife.  The women went on vacation to Vegas which included going to a strip club.  Porsha expressed that she didn't want to go to a strip club because her husband would not approve, she also stated that she was happy her husband LET her attend the trip.  These comments appeared to rub all the other women on the show the wrong way.  They began discussing the fact that Kordell was controlling and he that holds the purse strings usually controls or dictates the flow of the relationship.

Being a young woman who grew up in a 2 parent HH, both sets of my grandparents were married I completely disagreed.  I understand the respect factor in all relationships.  There are things that a husband shouldn't do if he knows his wife won't approve and the same goes for the wife.  It doesn't matter who controls the purse strings.  I do also understand that there are controlling men out there, however, I still don't believe its the case with Porsha and Kordell.  

Nene, Phaedra, Cynthia, Kenya, and Kandi are all independent self-made women.  I applaud them and admire them for that.  I'm less traditional in the sense that I believe its acceptable for a woman to work outside of the home.  However, if a man told me I could stay at home and he would take care of everything, I would absolutely jump at the chance and be happy.  There are instances in their, Nene, Phaedra, Cynthia, Kenya, and Kandi, relationships however where I feel that most of these women don't let the man be a man.  Not judging their relationships because to each its own.

With that said, what works for one relationship and one person doesn't necessarily work for another.  That is why it is important to shy away from giving relationship advice to others.  Its a sticky situation that can lead to many problems.  I rarely give relationship advice or impose my own opinion.  I am all for general advice, sharing stories from my personal life or the life of others to help give someone extra insight.  Unless there is extreme physical abuse NEVER would I tell a woman or man to leave their marriage or relationship.

But back to the topic at hand, the other ladies told Porsha her husband was controlling, that this was no longer the olden days.  I remember Porsha saying Kordell was the King of his home. Nene personally thought that was a crock.  Why isn't the man the King?  My daddy was the King of our home and I was the princess.  Do you believe that type of thinking should be left in the olden days?  Is your man the King of his castle?  Are you the queen? Are you traditional?

My man is my king and I am his queen.  Whether rich or poor I believe that a man should feel like a man.  Cook for him, fix his plate, take his plate away, motivate him, support him, help him with his dreams. Respect and honor him  Now with that said he should be doing many of the same things for you.  RECIPROCITY!!!!!

He may not be able to cook but maybe one night he decides to do the dishes, or tell you, you don't have to cook he's taking you out to dinner. For me the man should take out the garbage, mow the lawn, trim the hedges, change tires, etc. manly things but again that's me and my relationship.  Each and every relationship is different and the only opinions that matter are those that are in the relationship.

Somewhere during the women's movement, women forgot in their quest to be equals that they are not men.  Yes we can go out and make money, we can even bring home the entire pig BUT the man should feel like the man at all times.  The man should feel his opinion matters, that he is the head, and his thoughts and feelings are taken into consideration.  I believe that's where the independent woman goes wrong.  More than likely the man knows that you are independent.  That is what attracted him to you but still be a lady, the woman and let him be the man.  It's great to have an opinion just don't beat the man over the head with it.  As the old saying goes, you catch more flies with honey. Use your femininity to your advantage.

There is a huge population of women that say, I have a good job, my own home, a car, money in the bank, good credit, BUT I don't have a man.  It may be because you are too busy behaving like a man, trying to prove your "manhood" when men do come along and they want a lady, a woman! Again, your independence attracted him to you BUT BE A LADY AT ALL TIMES.  Men, real men, like fixing things, they want you to need them to carry that heavy box, change your tire, look under your car hood, open that jar, paint that room....I think you get my drift.  Even if they complain, they enjoy doing it, men like to feel needed and wanted.  As a man told me, men take care of what they love (financially, physically etc.) whatever it may be if it is in their power to do so men take care of what they love.  So while you are well able to take care of yourself, LET THAT MAN BE A MAN!

Has the Independent Woman Killed "Traditional" Marriage?  Did you see the episode of RHOA I'm referring to?  Do you agree with Porsha or the other ladies?

Be a blessing and be blessed! Namaste! Peace! Love! Joy! Abundance! Health! Wisdom! Knowledge! Understanding!