RAISE YOUR SONS!

Raise Your Sons!

This is to all my mother’s. Someone whom I follow on Twitter post a tweet this morning “I just witnessed a mother arguing with her 19 year old son about washing his clothes that has been stinking in her house over a month! WOW”

Mother’s if you don’t want this to be you, RAISE YOUR SONS!!!!!!

What do I mean by that?

Sure in the traditional sense men and women marry and the woman cooks, cleans, washes clothes takes care of the home. However it is 2011 and in many marriages both the men and women work. Now in some homes the husband is the bread winner and the wife loving accepts her household duties. There are other households where the husbands shares in the work. Now for myself, the way that I grew up my mother tended to the things in the home and my father took care of the things outside of the home, mowing the lawn, cleaning the gutters, washing cars, bar b qing etc. However……my father also knew how to wake up and make his own breakfast. Now when it came to dinner food he was a bit limited but he wasn’t going to starve waiting on my mother to cook. Please don’t misunderstand my mother cooked and cleaned, she also worked a full-time job and was at some point in school so there weren’t things she was able to do on a daily basis but every Sunday guaranteed we had a home cooked meal. My father is an example of a man whose mother raised and did not spoil him.

Then I have an aunt and uncle. Now for a long time I thought my aunt was cooking everyday. Come to find out in the later years of the marriage because my uncle made it home at 2P he would cook dinner and have it ready for when my aunt came home. Now my aunt fixes their plates, clears the tables and washes dishes traditional things but she isn’t married to a man that is helpless because his mother decided not to raise him as a man.

What a lot of women do and there was an article in Jet Magazine about this when I was in grammar school the title was something to the effect Black Women Raise their Daughters and Spoil their sons. Many black women and maybe whites and other races I am not at liberty to speak on that. Raise their daughters and spoil their sons. They treat their sons somehow like they are princess/kings and even sometimes like a husband.

What many mothers fail to realize is most women don’t want to date nor marry a man that is unable to do anything for hisself. The days are long gone where children leave the home and are immediately married. You may be training your daughter to take care of herself and her family but your son needs the same training. I consider knowing how to boil water, cook, and clean necessities needed to survive in life just like reading, writing, and arithmetic!

Our goals as parents should be to prepare our children for life. Your son may not get married until he is in his 30s. That is my hope for my own son. I would prefer him to get an education, start his own business, establish himself, then date, marry and have children in that order! So that means he will have a period of time where he will be living alone and forced to do his own laundry, cooking and cleaning. If he doesn’t learn how to do so in my home I will be doing him an extreme disservice. Now if he is fortunate enough to have the ability to afford a maid/butler great but I will be at ease because I know that he has the proper tools needed to take care of himself.

There is absolutely no reason why the mother of a 19 year old should be arguing with him about washing his stanking clothes and the mother has to take some of the responsibility as to why her son hasn’t washed his clothes. For me it’s either one of two things the mother didn’t raise him to do these things and waited until he was too old to introduce the need to do for oneself or the child is suffering from depression. Who in their right mind would want to smell, stinking clothes themselves? Now the other thing is that the 19 year old knows his mother breaking point, the point where she will give in and do for him and he has the stamina to out wait her!

Whatever the case may be if you are the mother of a son or are planning to have children, RAISE YOUR SON. Men need to know how to cook, clean, separate laundry, wash clothes just as much as women do. Introduce responsibility to your children early. If they are old enough to mess up they are old enough to clean up. Even if you don’t make your children do certain things all the time, they should have the ability to do them. It is my personal belief that all school age children should know how to clean their own rooms and that should solely be their responsibility. You may still have to sweep and mop for some until they are old enough to truly do those things properly.

I laugh reading this as I wrote this last week and this past weekend my son over flowed the toilet as he stuffed it with tissue wiping his butt and still had poo in his underwear. I knew he did because he changed his shorts. I explained to him if you have poo in your underwear and you do not wash your butt you will have poo in your shorts. I told him if you know there is poo in your underwear, wash your underwear, wash your butt and wash your hands when you are done. Take responsibility. Mothers of sons who still find tire tracks in their child undies please keep me in your prayers.

Mother’s I encourage you to RAISE YOUR SONS! Think of all the qualities you love about men and the ones that you hate and make sure you aren’t raising a child that you wouldn’t even want to date or marry.

Be a blessing and be blessed,
Epiphany Essentials