Wednesday, July 28, 2010






Be a blessing and be blessed,
Epiphany Essentials

Relationship Wednesday's - The Committed Non Commitment!

I just had to laugh out loud as I wrote the title. The committed non commitment!

A friend of mine sent a tweet the other night and it made me want to write briefly on this topic. She spoke on a man that is partly with a woman, doesn't want to make the full commitment but doesn't want the woman to date other people. No the full commitment isn't marriage this is simply a discussion of putting a title on it and dating exclusively being in a committed one-on-one relationship in an effort to determine where the relationship may lead.

Many women have found themselves in that predicament, dealing with a man that wanted to do his own thing yet wanted to dictate what she does. Now the guy would say with his mouth we are not in a relationship you can do whatever you want to do while at the same time giving hints and clues that there will be an issue if you choose to date someone else.

Ladies this does go both ways. Women know good and well they aren't in a relationship with the man but they want to flip out if they find out he has been spending time with another woman. The woman will usually justify her actions with excuses, well he hasn't spent any time with me I just want him to spend time with me and more importantly the majority of the time they just want him to come sleep with them. To concerned with whom he's been sleeping with because he hasn't be sleeping with you.

So a lot of women have found themselves in committed non committed relationships. I believe the main reason why they find themselves there is because they opened their legs first and asked questions last! Now feelings and emotions are involved and the woman is expecting a relationship from a man who has no intention on being in a relationship with her.

Which leads me back to the tweet....I don't want you but I don't want anyone else to have you.

Who cares what the man wants? Why is it really your concern what he wants?


It is about you as a woman/man and what you are looking for and deserve. Don't be deceived or misled into thinking temporary pleasure and momentary instances of act right constitute a relationship. As a person don't feel that you need someone else to fulfill or meet any of your needs especially when you know deep down in your heart the "relationship" is not healthy.

Understanding that all people are looking for, longing for or desiring love. Lets just make sure we aren't looking for love in the wrong places! Be real with yourself and your situation. Don't paint a fairy tale or a dream live in reality.

If you desire to be married or be in a from The Committed Non Commitment!

Ladies we are more than what is between our legs, there is more to offer than what is between our legs. Sex is a major component of any relationship yet it was meant to be a seal of love between 2 people whom love each other. Not as a tool or device by which a woman gets a man to do things that she wants him to do. Its time we start loving ourselves more and teaching other women to love themselves as well. Sure no one wants to be alone at night yet how many nights/day/events/holidays do you find yourself alone being in a committed non commitment?

Be a blessing and be blessed,
Epiphany Essentials

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Sharing Your Dreams

We have all dreamt of something and wanted to see it come to pass. Or we have a vision of something we would like to do and accomplish in the future. Some of us run to tell our parents, friends, co-workers, someone close and maybe some who aren't that close. Usually because we are excited and just have to share it with someone.

Then it comes out of nowhere from someone you've told. You want to do what? How? With what? That seems impossible, or they may just begin to laugh at you.

Now if you aren't a strong person you may bow your head in defeat and forget about your dream. This constitutes a great majority of people. An idea is placed in your head that is so radical you can barely believe it yourself and then you go tell someone else who probably has not had the courage to live out their own dreams. Why the shock and hurt that they aren't supportive of you?

Everyone who is around you isn't for you. Those who aren't happy with themselves and their self-growth will have a difficult time genuinely being happy for you.

Therefore be careful whom you share your dreams with. It was your dream for a reason. There is no need to go around telling anyone who will listen what your future plans are. They will see the manifestation. Sharing your dreams can drudge up some ugly attitudes in the people closest to you.

Take the story of Joseph in the bible. He had a dream that his brother would bow down to him. He woke up and told them immediately. Now him being the youngest brother telling his older brothers, their response was to sell him into slavery and then tell their father he had died. In the end his brothers did end up bowing down to him and Joseph went through a lot of things before that happened (Genesis 37-50). Nevertheless, as it says in the bible Genesis 50:20 As for you, you meant evil against me, God meant it for good!

The great part of Joseph's story is that when God places a dream in your heart no matter what others day they can not stop the manifestation of it. The only person who can stop you from fulfilling your dreams is YOU.

What God has for you is for you and only you. Believe it, Receive it, and walk in your Inheritance. Speak those things that be not as though they were.

Be a blessing and be blessed,
Epiphany Essentials

Friday, July 16, 2010



Ephesians 2: 8-10 8 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9 not by works, so that no one can boast. 10 For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Hebrews 11: 3 3 By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God's command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible.

Do you have Faith?
Do you really, really have Faith?
What are you hoping for?
Are you hoping for a house, new car, marriage, children, new assignment (job)?
Are you looking at the economy? Are you focusing on the recession?
Are you thinking about the act that you haven't been on a date in who knows when?
Are you buying into the hype that the more education you have as an African American woman the less likely you are to get married?
Or the fact that you are over 35?

Faith is the substance of things hoped for the evidence of things not seen! So stop trying to figure out in the natural what God and Jesus have already completed in the spiritual. By grace through faith you have been saved, there is no amount of work that you could do that would qualify you for anything that you have. You were qualified and justified when Jesus died on the cross.

What you can do is exercise your Faith and go forth with a spirit of expectancy as you are a co-heir with Christ. That means everything that Christ has you also have you just have to have the FAITH, CLAIM IT AND POSSESS IT! How do you do that? Focus on God, meditate on His Word and speak His Word only daily and apply it to your life, be a doer of the Word!

Be a blessing and be blessed,
Epiphany Essentials

Thursday, July 15, 2010


"Change your beliefs so they empower your dreams and desires. Created a strong belief in yourself and what you want." Marcia Wieder
"Our thoughts create our reality -- where we put our focus is the direction we tend to go." Peter McWilliams

Your thoughts, beliefs and words are what have shaped YOUR life. If you want to change your life, change your thoughts and watch your mouth!

Be a blessing and be blessed,
Epiphany Essentials

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Relationship Wednesday's - The Definition of Dating

I think the meaning of dating got lost somewhere for a lot of people and confused with other things. Admittedly I am guilty of this myself nevertheless it is never too late to start over and get it right!

So here is Wikipedia's definition of dating:

Dating is a form of courtship, and may include any social activity undertaken by, typically, two persons with the aim of each assessing the other's suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship or as a spouse. The word refers to the act of meeting and engaging in some mutually agreed upon social activity. Traditional dating activities include entertainment or a meal.
Courtship/Social Activity - Dating should begin as a courtship with social activities. Two people taking the time to get to know one another to determine if the are compatible and suitable for one another. The obvious depending on whom approaced whom is that there is a physical attraction.
With that said that doesn't mean one should quickly act on the physical and jump into a sexual relationship with someone they have courted/socialized with. Why? Because it is important to asess the other's suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship or as a spouse. Keep in mind intimate relationship does not mean sex. Sex and intimacy are two different things you can have sex and have NO intimacy. You can have intimacy and not have sex however intimacy is important for a healthy sexual relationship.
If you find yourself sleeping with guys and then dating them halt and do an about face. Why? Because relationships that start off that way rarely end up in a walk down the aisle (if that is your desire). Also because you will confuse enjoying sex with a person for actually liking the person. Why? Because you all didn't date you engaged in sex!
So court him and allow him to court you. Keep in mind his goal may be to court you straight to bed and score a goal. As I think about it it may be your goal to get him in the bed. Just be mindful of what your long-term goal is and stay true to that. So you may have to exercise self-control and restraint.
Dating again means to court and socialize with someone of the opposite sex. So yes, you can date more than 1 person at a time. The purpose of dating again is to determine if you can see yourself in a relationship with the person. If there are no sparks and you don't see a future. Move on to the next one, no harm no foul as all you did was court one another and socialize outside of the bedroom sparing all involved headache and pain.
If you date and you find someone whom you think is suitable for a relationship. That is when you choose to date exclusively and enter into a relationship with them. This still doesn't mean however that its time to go all the way.
So to all my single ladies embrace dating and learn the difference between dating, relationships, and simply engaging in sex with a man. Trust me that your heart will appreciate it later.....
Next week....Confusing friends with benefits with a relationship!
Be a blessing and be blessed,
Epiphany Essentials

Friday, July 9, 2010


Hebrews 11:1 Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

Faith Friday's

Resting on His Promise

by Youthful Praise

Be a blessing and be blessed,

Epiphany Essentials