Wednesday, March 20, 2013


'UBUNTU' in the Xhosa culture means: "I am because we are"

An anthropologist proposed a game to the kids in an African tribe. He put a basket full of fruit near a tree and told the kids that who ever got there first won the sweet fruits. W
hen he told them to run they all took each others hands and ran together, then sat together enjoying their treats. When he asked them why they had run like that as one could have had all the fruits for himself they said: ''UBUNTU, how can one of us be happy if all the other ones are sad?''

'UBUNTU' in the Xhosa culture means: "I am because we are"(VIA FaceBook)

This moved me so and also made me think.  Now I agree that the Most High blesses those that have their own BUT we are blessed to be a blessing.  

I must say had this happened in America, the end result would have not been the same.  Are we teaching our children the importance of all for one and one for all?  Are we embodying this ideal ourselves?  After all we live in a society where the wealthiest 1% employ 99% of the people.  We live in a society where competition is encouraged.  We live in a society where the haves look down on the "have" nots BUT...what if the haves shared with the have nots?  What if people realized when enough was enough and it was time to give and share?  

This message speaks to me as well as I have clothing in my closet that still has the tags on it yet I want more, sometimes I feel that I don't have enough because I'm comparing myself to others and what society says success and wealth should be.  

I'm sure I would have been a kid racing to get the fruit first and had I not been first I would have been upset. Then my thoughts go to the winner. How comfortable could the winner be?

Would they feel comfortable sitting and eating their fruit while the others went hungry?  Would they share their fruit with the others or feel its theirs only because they won fair and square?  Would those without fruit try to take/steal the fruit from the winner? Would the others be jealous and envious of the winner?  After eating the fruit would the others still be friends with the winner?

These are questions that are true for our society.  There are many have nots that have to steal or feel they have to steal in order to feed their families.  While there are families that throw away left overs regularly if not daily.  Many of us think, I'm not a hundred thousandnaire let alone a millionaire I have nothing to give.  This is so far from the truth.  Many of those that are blessed must first recognize their blessings.

If you woke up this morning, in a home, with running water, gas, heat, electricity, food in the pantry and refrigerator, YOU ARE BLESSED.  Not only are you blessed, you can be a blessing to someone else.


Be a blessing and be blessed! Namaste! Peace! Love! Joy! Health! Ubuntu!

Tuesday, March 19, 2013


For all intents and purposes I guess it would be wise to define traditional marriage.  In the true sense of "tradition", a traditional marriage is one where the husband works outside the home and the wife works inside the home and tends to the children.  The husband is the bread winner, bringing home the bacon and the wife is the one frying it up in a pan.  Think the Cleavers on Leave it to Beaver, The Evans family on Good Times, The Jeffersons ( well Weezy did have a maid...go ahead Weezy!!!!), The Winslows on Family Matters, even The Huxtables had what I would consider a traditional marriage.  More importantly, as well in this definition, is a home where the husband is the head, the leader, the key/final decision maker.  He takes into consideration the thoughts, feelings, and ideals of his wife but the husband has the final say, the right to put his foot down and that be that.  All done in respect, love, decency and order.

Has the independent woman killed the "traditional" marriage?  This question arises from an episode of The Real Housewives of Atlanta (RHOA), yes, reality TV!!!!!  Porsha is married to ex NFL baller Kordell.  Kordell is well off and Porsha is a stay at home wife.  The women went on vacation to Vegas which included going to a strip club.  Porsha expressed that she didn't want to go to a strip club because her husband would not approve, she also stated that she was happy her husband LET her attend the trip.  These comments appeared to rub all the other women on the show the wrong way.  They began discussing the fact that Kordell was controlling and he that holds the purse strings usually controls or dictates the flow of the relationship.

Being a young woman who grew up in a 2 parent HH, both sets of my grandparents were married I completely disagreed.  I understand the respect factor in all relationships.  There are things that a husband shouldn't do if he knows his wife won't approve and the same goes for the wife.  It doesn't matter who controls the purse strings.  I do also understand that there are controlling men out there, however, I still don't believe its the case with Porsha and Kordell.  

Nene, Phaedra, Cynthia, Kenya, and Kandi are all independent self-made women.  I applaud them and admire them for that.  I'm less traditional in the sense that I believe its acceptable for a woman to work outside of the home.  However, if a man told me I could stay at home and he would take care of everything, I would absolutely jump at the chance and be happy.  There are instances in their, Nene, Phaedra, Cynthia, Kenya, and Kandi, relationships however where I feel that most of these women don't let the man be a man.  Not judging their relationships because to each its own.

With that said, what works for one relationship and one person doesn't necessarily work for another.  That is why it is important to shy away from giving relationship advice to others.  Its a sticky situation that can lead to many problems.  I rarely give relationship advice or impose my own opinion.  I am all for general advice, sharing stories from my personal life or the life of others to help give someone extra insight.  Unless there is extreme physical abuse NEVER would I tell a woman or man to leave their marriage or relationship.

But back to the topic at hand, the other ladies told Porsha her husband was controlling, that this was no longer the olden days.  I remember Porsha saying Kordell was the King of his home. Nene personally thought that was a crock.  Why isn't the man the King?  My daddy was the King of our home and I was the princess.  Do you believe that type of thinking should be left in the olden days?  Is your man the King of his castle?  Are you the queen? Are you traditional?

My man is my king and I am his queen.  Whether rich or poor I believe that a man should feel like a man.  Cook for him, fix his plate, take his plate away, motivate him, support him, help him with his dreams. Respect and honor him  Now with that said he should be doing many of the same things for you.  RECIPROCITY!!!!!

He may not be able to cook but maybe one night he decides to do the dishes, or tell you, you don't have to cook he's taking you out to dinner. For me the man should take out the garbage, mow the lawn, trim the hedges, change tires, etc. manly things but again that's me and my relationship.  Each and every relationship is different and the only opinions that matter are those that are in the relationship.

Somewhere during the women's movement, women forgot in their quest to be equals that they are not men.  Yes we can go out and make money, we can even bring home the entire pig BUT the man should feel like the man at all times.  The man should feel his opinion matters, that he is the head, and his thoughts and feelings are taken into consideration.  I believe that's where the independent woman goes wrong.  More than likely the man knows that you are independent.  That is what attracted him to you but still be a lady, the woman and let him be the man.  It's great to have an opinion just don't beat the man over the head with it.  As the old saying goes, you catch more flies with honey. Use your femininity to your advantage.

There is a huge population of women that say, I have a good job, my own home, a car, money in the bank, good credit, BUT I don't have a man.  It may be because you are too busy behaving like a man, trying to prove your "manhood" when men do come along and they want a lady, a woman! Again, your independence attracted him to you BUT BE A LADY AT ALL TIMES.  Men, real men, like fixing things, they want you to need them to carry that heavy box, change your tire, look under your car hood, open that jar, paint that room....I think you get my drift.  Even if they complain, they enjoy doing it, men like to feel needed and wanted.  As a man told me, men take care of what they love (financially, physically etc.) whatever it may be if it is in their power to do so men take care of what they love.  So while you are well able to take care of yourself, LET THAT MAN BE A MAN!

Has the Independent Woman Killed "Traditional" Marriage?  Did you see the episode of RHOA I'm referring to?  Do you agree with Porsha or the other ladies?

Be a blessing and be blessed! Namaste! Peace! Love! Joy! Abundance! Health! Wisdom! Knowledge! Understanding!


Monday, March 18, 2013


This blog was inspired by my big sister...Trust Yourself!

About 4 years ago my sister made a major decision to move to another state.  Away from her support system, mother, grandmother, aunts/uncles, cousins, sisters and friends.  A state at least a 10 hour drive away BUT she did it.  One of our cousins offered her a job, agreed to pay her moving fees, and security deposit.  My sister had spoken of moving to a warmer climate due to the health concerns of her youngest son so she jumped at the opportunity. What she didn't know was her decision was all apart of the Most High's plan for her and her children.

When first considering the idea of moving she discussed her plans with myself, her mom and others in the family.  They completely discouraged her decision about moving, told her not to do it, and that it wasn't a good idea...... Trust Yourself.

Nevertheless, my sister made the move.  A couple of months after moving she quit her job working for our cousin and found herself unemployed.  Her middle son was in a school he absolutely hated and he was far more advanced than his peers.  At the time he was in 8th grade and had to attend the school by there home BUT my sister learned that they could chose the high school he attended.  Since he was 5 years old, he said that he wanted to be a doctor.  Low and behold, his high school of choice, a school for students that desire to be doctors and Engineers, he applied, was accepted, and is on his way to fulfilling his dream.....Trust Yourself.

See, my sister could've decided her new home state wasn't working out because the job she left Chicago for was no more, my nephews school was less than ideal, and her oldest son didn't make the move, choosing to stay in Chicago....she could've looked at the situation as if she'd made the wrong decision and run back home BUT she stayed....Trust Yourself!

Fast forward over 3 years later, this summer my nephew has been invited to attend John Hopkins University program for high school students, he will be entering his senior year in the fall.  His college choices Duke or Johns Hopkins.  Her youngest son now wants to follow in his big brothers foot steps and her oldest son is a student at a University in Illinois....Trust Yourself!

I wonder, what if my sister didn't move? What if she listened to her mom and others and didn't take the leap?  I think about the saying that your blessing is on the other side of your fear. Fear was telling my sister to stay, faith said move.  Not to mention she can be a little head strong and stubborn, once making a decision she sticks with it BUT life has been pretty good to her thus far....Trust Yourself!

It's great to consider the counsel of friends, family, religious leaders BUT it is best to Trust Yourself...You have intuition for a reason, you get that gut feeling for a reason.  As the saying goes, always go with your first mind.  Think about the times you didn't go with your first mind, you didn't trust yourself....things didn't turn out right did they?

Most times when we seek the advice of others they impose their fears and beliefs on our lives BUT the good book says be it on to you according to your FAITH.  We cannot get by on anyone's faith but our own....Trust Yourself!

I'm glad my sister trusted her self and I enjoy watching the destiny of her and her children unfold. 

Let my sisters story be an inspiration to you.  Yes you can move to another city, state, country with little to no support from others and make it, survive, and thrive.  As long as you take your faith and the Most High with you all things are possible for you....Trust Yourself!

Don't accept and feed into others fears, concerns or doubts...Trust Yourself, Trust Your Gut, Trust Your Intuition, Trust that the Most High is guiding you to your destiny, to your greatness!!

Be a blessing and be blessed! Namaste! Peace! Love! Joy! Faith! Abundance! Greatness! Health! Trust! Intuition! Believe!

Friday, March 15, 2013


The other day, we had an Epiphany! In keeping with The Secret and speaking, thinking, and visualizing the life we want.  We wondered, what if we stopped wanting and started having?  What do we mean by this?

Think about it, how often do you walk around speaking of the things you want?  How often do you get the things that you want?  How long does it take to get them?

What if you changed your thoughts and your words and starting speaking that you had what it is you want already.


  • I want a successful marriage vs. I have a successful marriage
  • I want to be married vs. I'm a happily married woman
  • I want to save money vs. I'm a great saver and my bank account overflows
  • I want a home of my own vs. Thank you for my home it is blessed, filled with love etc.
  • I want a new job vs. Thank you for my business/job that I love
  • I want my child to do well in school vs. My child is a great student, leader, gets great grades, applies themselves etc.

Are you starting to see where we are going with this? I hope so.  The Secret is simply speaking only that which you want.  Not what you don't want but what you want to see manifest in your life and then speaking as if you already have it, you already are it!  Yes, its that simple.  

So what is that you want? Act as if you have it already.  Print out pictures, create a vision board meditate on it day and night as if it is so!

Try it, we challenge you, we challenge ourselves.   We want to live life on purpose and create our future in the NOW, that is what FAITH is right? :-)

Be blessed and be a blessing! Namaste! Peace! Love! Joy! Health! Prosperity! Abundance!

Monday, March 4, 2013


Your beliefs, thoughts, and feelings are your own.  Just because you believe, think and feel a certain way doesn't mean you have to impose those views on others.  If you impose your views on others and they don't accept them, that is quite alright as well. Just because people believe, think, and feel contrary to each other doesn't make either more right or more wrong, if right or wrong at all.

For example, some believe that if you go outside in the winter with a wet head you will catch a cold.  Sure enough those people if they do so, catch colds.  Those people will say see I knew it.  Yes, that is what you thought and believed and that is what happened to YOU!
I personally do not believe that therefore this entire winter I've washed my hair and went out in the dead of winter with a wet head of hair and I didn't catch a cold not once!

TRUTH is RELATIVE to each individual.  I like in the Bible where it says according to YOUR FAITH/BELIEF be it on to you.  You cannot get by on someone else faith or beliefs, only your own.  To truly walk in faith/believe you have to think, act, walk, and talk in whatever you have faith or are believing in.  That's why someone else faith/beliefs won't work for you.

You can say you have faith/believe the mountain will move BUT if you find yourself worrying about that mountain, you aren't in faith!

Some believe in order to make a lot of money you have to work hard.  Others believe all you have to do is work smart.  Others believe you can have someone else do the work and just reap the benefits.  Neither is right, neither is wrong.  Each will say they're right because it worked for them which is true but it was because of their thoughts and beliefs.

This is why it is sometimes, often times, dare I say most times pointless to argue with other people.  I'm all for friendly debates, I open to learning new things and considering the perspective of others but arguing, for what.  Each person usually walks away with the feeling they are right and justified and the other person is wrong and an idiot. 

This is also why people are inspired and moved by church sermons, motivational speeches, and inspirational books yet once back in their own environment all is almost lost.  Why? Because their core beliefs and thoughts have not changed.  They heard something awesome, moving, potentially life changing BUT the true application of how to enact that word wasn't realized.

I've posted this before but I will say again, I read an awesome book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and I am currently taking my time reading The Secret.  These 2 books were powerful and instrumental in my growing exponentially in 2013 and its only March 4th.

Remember, your thoughts create your reality.  Whatever you think about you manifest into your own life.  Just because things have been true or came true for you doesn't mean it will be the same for others.

Be a blessing and be blessed! Namaste! Peace! Love! Joy! Abundance! Health! Wealth! Prosperity! Life!

Friday, March 1, 2013


I am reading a book that has changed my life as it contains information and says it in such a way that makes you think, reflect, and accept the quality/state of your life, while desiring change through action!

Now, I spoke of this book to someone who is of the Christian faith and deep into church.  He said he read the book but didn't like it because God was not in it.  I was amazed as God was all in the book.  First and foremost everyone doesn't accept the term GOD, GOD is a man made word.  Some people say the Universe, Creator, Most High, Allah, etc. So this book appealing to all over the entire world does not specifically use the word God but there is nothing in it that goes against my personal spiritual beliefs.

While I believe in the power of God and many things in the bible, I have to remind myself that it was written by man and text such as the Book of the Dead and the Medu (hieroglyphics) precede the Bible itself.

With that said, here are things from the Bible that coincide with The Secret :-)

The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. Proverbs 18:21

If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless. James 1:26

But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken.  For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned." Matthew 12:36-37

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:5

You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. Matthew 12:34

So, you may be thinking if it coincides with the Bible, why not just read the Bible.  I will tell you why because I guarantee your Pastor and even yourself have read other spiritual or religious text.  Even going to church on Sunday the Pastor relays the Word in a manner in which the congregation will understand.

Here are some passages from The Secret that made me go hmmm......

"The Secret is the law of attraction!

Everything that is coming in your life you are attracting into your life.  And it's attracted to you by virtue of the images you're holding in your mind.  It's what you're thinking.  Whatever is going on in your mind you are attracting to you." 

After I read that I had to stop, put the book down and truly reflect, immediately.

"See things that you want as already yours.  Know that they will come to you at need.  Then let them come.  Don't fret and worry about them.  Don't think about your lack of them.  Think of them as yours, as belonging to you, as already in your possession."  Robert Collier

So try it, even the Bible says this as well; ASK, BELIEVE, RECEIVE! The Bible says to believe that you receive when you ask and it shall be yours.

So yes, you have not because you ASK not, you have not because you BELIEVE not, you have not RECEIVED because you have yet to ASK & BELIEVE!!!!!'

I encourage anyone reading this to purchase The Secret, either the book or the movie, also visit for more information.

Be a blessing and be blessed!  Namaste! Peace! Love! Joy! Favor! Abundance! Prosperity! Health! Wealth