Wednesday, September 5, 2012

THIS MARRIAGE I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR!!!!

This morning driving my son to school I was listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.  A woman wrote in and the title of her letter, 'I didn't sign up for this!'  Her and her husband married in their 30's and immediately decided to start a family.  The woman became pregnant and had a miscarriage.  Once her doctors gave her the green light to try again, she became pregnant had miscarriage #2 and that led to her having a hysterectomy.

After the hysterectomy, she writes that her husband became distant and their love making when it did happen was cold and impersonal.  She asked her husband about adopting a child and he told her he didn't want someone elses throw away, he wanted his own child.

Now here is where the story gets interesting.  The husband ended up having an affair with another woman, the other woman became pregnant and had the child, now the husband wants his wife to help him fight for full custody.  The wife acknowledges the child has nothing to do with the situation however, when the child comes around the wife leaves the home.  The wife's question is what should she do.

Now, I know the marriage vows say for better of for worst and to death do us part but my goodness.  This man had an affair, unprotected sex, and another child on his wife.  As a woman I can't imagine how it would feel to know I cannot bear children let alone have to help raise and care for a child my husband had with another woman because I couldn't have children (or at least that is the excuse he is using).

At any rate, before marriage I think the questions of where will we live, how many children we will have, what if we have problems having children, adoption and all of that should come up before the I do.  Think about the absolute worst things that could possibly happen.   The what if I become paralyzed, lose a member of my body, my sight, my hearing etc.  Will you still love me?  Do you love me based on what you see with the naked eye only or by whats in my heart?

I feel for this woman I truly do, I can't speak on what she should do because I am not a married woman.  I believe that once married 2 become one.  I also believe the husband truly broke the vows.  Yet I would hate for the woman to feel like she is to blame for the affair and her husbands desire to have a child since she is unable to bear children.

Oh me oh my, this was a lot....

Your thoughts???????

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