Wednesday, January 9, 2013

YOU ARE YOUR WORST ENEMY

To have a successful 2013 and rest of your life you must come to grips with the fact that you are your worst enemy.  You are the reason why everything in your life is going on....yes YOU!  If you don't believe or don't want to accept that fact, you will exist more than you will live and thrive....

We all have problems in our lives that we can put into 3 categories: direct control (problems involving our own behavior); indirect control (problems involving other people's behavior); or no control (problems we can do nothing about, such as our past or situational realities). Direct control problems are solved by working on our habits.  Indirect control problems are solved by changing our methods of influence.  No control problems involve taking responsibility to change the line on the bottom on our face -- to smile, to genuinely and peacefully accept these problems and learn to live with them, even though we don't like them. (7 Habits of Highly Effective People)

In all 3 of the problem categories we have the ability to choose, be and do.  We have the ability to be proactive and not reactive.  

Reactive people say things like:

  • there's nothing I can do
  • that's just the way I am
  • I can't
  • I must
  • If only 
 Proactive people say things like:

  • Let's look at our alternatives
  • I can choose a different approach
  • I control my own feelings
  • I choose
  • I prefer
  • I will 
Truly take the time to ask yourself, am I reactive or proactive?  Are you always speaking about the things that you have to do?  If you are, STOP.  You don't have to do anything, you choose to do everything that you do for whatever reason/consequence.  You choose to go to work, you choose to go to school, you choose to shop, you choose to be angry, you choose to be happy, you CHOOSE, YOU CHOOSE, YOU CHOOSE....Let us make it a practice to stop saying what we have to do and say what we are choosing to do. (7 Habits of Highly Effective People)

So how are you your worst enemy?  We are our worst enemies because it is easier for us to blame some outside stimuli for our behavior, mood, attitude, choices/decisions then to take the responsibility and ownership over our response and our reactions.  

Consider the person who wakes up on a cloudy, rainy day and already determines the day will be bad and they will be in a bad mood.  Well of course it will if that is the initial thought focused on the entire day.  What if you woke up cheerful despite the weather (no control problem) and still chose to be happy and in good spirits and accomplish everything you wanted to that day within reason.

Yesterday, I began my morning with yoga, meditation, and devotion.  Then it came, I couldn't find my spare key needed to start my car.  Surprisingly I didn't get upset, I knew there was a logical explanation as to why I couldn't find it and just when I thought I had it figured out, I was still wrong!!! Ha, BUT I stayed calm and didn't get upset.  Usually I would have been upset about it and my mood, energy and vibrations would have changed.  I wasn't able to warm my car up in advance but life goes on.

Then, after dropping my son off, I attempted to go to the ATM, first I was on the wrong street, once I figured that out I went to the right street found the bank, parked, walked up only to realize the particular branch I was at didn't have an ATM.  I thought to myself that's stupid BUT I kept it moving, I then went to where I knew another ATM was, couldn't find it LOL.  Finally, I came across a Walgreens at 7:30A and hoped it was open, walked in didn't see an ATM in the front look up and there one was in the back of the store.  Problem solved and through out the entire process I didn't become frustrated or upset (I'm beginning to shock myself but loving the new me!).  Once that problem was solved I read some foolishness on my text message.  I tweeted about my morning and while tweeting I was smiling and laughing, as when I woke up I declared that today was going to be a good day, it was a part of my devotion.  So, I laughed at the things that happened that I could have ALLOWED to cause me to have a bad day but I CHOSE to have a good, happy day.  Oh and how could I forget, once I arrived downtown I decided to treat myself to a hot chocolate and a red velvet donut.  Well, the red velvets are gone because the holidays are over, no biggie, I ordered a muffin and kept it moving.  Yesterday, I had a great day!!!!!!

How many would have been upset, frustrated or thrown off by a morning like that?  How many would have declared they were having a bad day and nothing was going right?  

THOUGHTS AND WORDS ARE EVERYTHING....Despite what happens in and through out your day you are RESPONSE ABLE or responsible for YOU!!!!!!

I now recognize my son allows outside stimuli to affect him.  Some of this is because of how he's seen myself and other adults respond to different things we encounter so my goal is to teach him he has the ability to control his responses.  The best teacher, lead by example. He's reading his own devotion everyday and it covers a lot of topics similar so with time, patience and repetition I'm confident he will get it and grow into a Proactive young man.

So, back to you, yes you, YOU ARE YOUR WORST ENEMY.....

Things will happen to you, around you, for you etc.  BUT YOU CHOOSE, YOU ARE RESPONSE ABLE, you determine if it sends you to a depression or if you simply learn the lesson from the situation and move on, happy and proactive.

I encourage you to read the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.  It's not the typical "self-help" book.  I consider it a "self-help" book but it isn't filled with a lot of quotes and motivational/inspirational words.  It makes you take a long hard look at SELF, how you respond, speak, think, what you focus on in YOUR life and how you may be overly judgmental in the lives of others.  The book takes a step by step approach but it works on changing people from the inside out. Not the outside-in method.....

Before you blame the economy, government, children, parents, friends, family, weather, etc. for whatever is going on in your life or for the feelings you are having remember that you are RESPONSE ABLE and the one thing you control is your thoughts and actions.   YOU CHOOSE!!!!!

Be blessed and be a blessing! Namaste! Peace! Joy! Love! Happiness! Self-Control! Faithfulness! 

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